secrets from Elizabeth
CHAPTER 1: KNOWING ELIZABETH
“Mum… Where are you going?”
“Honey, I’m going to work, remember? I’ll be back late, be good”
“Aren’t you even…”
“Let’s talk about that later, bye!”
*door shut*
“Aren’t you even…*sigh* gonna great me happy birthday…”
Wow! Isn’t she lovely? Why do I even bother? She never cared… never. Every time I need her, she just ignores me, but somehow, I understand her pain, that she got to work double, for me and my little sister, for us to live a healthy life here at Camden town, she needs to face the reality and stand on her own, now that she got no one to lean on to, now that she got no shoulder to cry on. Dad is gone… he left us, it’s been nine years, but I still feel the emptiness… the loss… I love him, but mum got to let him go, knowing that dad got another woman in his life, a woman carrying their child, how it sickens me… but I still want to feel his love.
“*opens fridge* I wonder what to eat… *gets ham*”
*microwaves*
“Beth… where’s mum?”
“Annie, you’re up, mum just left… for work.”
“Did she greeted you?”
“No… as usual”
“Happy birthday”
“You’re always the first to greet me… so thanks”
“You’re my sister, why would I forget? Anyhow, you’re always the first to greet me too, here’s a gift, well… you bought me that last year but… I can’t think of anything to write in there sooo… you can have it back, I really want to give you something today, I’m sorry”
“ooh! The diary, Well, nine years of no greetings from parents… what do we expect? Thank you though, I love it!”
Nine years, could you imagine that? I can’t just tell myself she always forgets my birthday; she’s my mother for crying out loud! She shouldn’t be forgetting unforgettable events—-birthdays; she must’ve been too bitter, forgetting her own offspring’s need, drowning herself to work, just to not experience a flashback that pierces her heart. We’re hurting… but we can’t do anything about it.
“I’m going to school, lock the doors, close the windows, and DON’T let anyone in”
“Beth… I wanna go to school too, I don’t wanna be left here always, it’s scary here”
“We don’t have enough money yet, after I my graduation I’m going to help you, so don’t worry, for the meantime just watch some TV, read some books, or eat the ham I microwaved earlier, the bread is just above the table; I’ll go home early as possible”
“Please hurry”
“I will, I will *kisses Annie’s forehead* I’ll go now”
“Take care”
*slowly closes the door*
It hurts me to leave my ten year old sister alone in the flats, so I just pray to god she’s safe. I’ve finished two years of fine arts photography at London metropolitan university, one year to go and I’ll be graduating, I hope nothing goes wrong because it’s kind of hard to get six thousand eight hundred fifty pounds for my tuition fee, and a one hundred sixty five pounds per week rent at our apartment, I’m working on my grant, we belong to a low income family, so I need help for fees and living costs. Hoping this would help carry mum’s burden. And maybe… just maybe, she’ll finally have time with us.
Dear diary,
This is my first entry, I hope my sister is safe and sound, It’s a bit shaky here in the bus, so sorry for my writing, as usual, it’s cold outside, I’m wearing my favorite pink scarf mum gave me.
Today is my birthday, and we’re also having a degree show at London met, my photography projects will be displayed there. I hope everyone will take a look at my work, my fingers are crossed! Good luck!
PS always look at the beautiful blue sky, it’ll make you smile! Have a good day!
Love, Elizabeth
“Wow! What a crowd, the exhibition might be starting now!”
I went out in the bus and ran as fast as I could, I still have to fix my booth, and hang these pictures. I went in our university and up the Bloomberg trading floor, the event is very busy, booths everywhere, judges roaming, critics… I can see who’s amazed and who’s bored.
“Beth, you’re late.”
“Professor Margaret! I’m so sorry; I have to put up breakfast for my sister, and… and…”
“No need for explanations, just put up your booth right there at the back most part, entertain the judges and if anyone asks…”
“Got it, introduce, explain and smile”
“Good! Now, I’ll check up on you later, I just have to go somewhere”
“Thanks Professor Margaret”
Professor Margaret is my mentor, she’s a very talented lady and a very effective teacher, she guides her students one by one and understands their needs, she’s more like of a mother to me, a very loving mother to be exact. As much as possible I want to stay here, and talk to her more, but I can’t be too selfish, I have a little sister alone at the apartment.
So there I was putting up the booth, and hanging my photos, waiting for the judges. So far so great, everyone who dropped by my booth are interested at the displayed photos. I like taking pictures, it’s an art that I will never leave; it’s a great wonder how every picture tell billions and billions of stories, just a simple click and you have a novel of sadness, happiness, moving on, friendship, anger… it’s unbelievable and surreal.
Dear diary,
It’s my second entry today, I’m sitting here at the floor on my booth, still waiting for the judges, I really hope they’ll love my works, I need the good remarks it’ll help me maintain my grants.
I wonder what Annie is doing.
Love, Elizabeth
The moment I closed my diary I saw a couple flirting inside my booth, standing side by side, holding hands, it makes me want to vomit! No, it does not appear sweet for me, it disgusts me, I just had a feeling they would break up in the end, so why do they even bother! They should spend time with their family not with somebody else, it’s too early for them to be intimate, and they’re still young! They shouldn’t lead their way to marriage! Their family needs their help! But I can’t just sweep them off my booth, ANNOYING. Miss Margaret said, I should treat anyone as clients. *sigh*. People said I act a bit extreme with this, but I don’t know, I just feel that intimate love is nonsense, I’m twenty one years old and I feel, we’re too young for this, we should give our best to our parents first, and take good care of our brothers or sisters. We got a lot to finish; we should put intimate love last on the list.
Elizabeth: excuse me, may I help you?
Girl: oohh, we’re so sorry.
Boy: you’re a very good photographer.
Elizabeth: Thank you. Now may I help you?
Girl: uhh..
Boy: I’m planning to marry this girl right here in the future, and from the looks of it, I think I want to consider you as a photographer to capture the unforgettable moment. These shots are priceless.
Elizabeth: excuse me?
GOODNESS! What a disgrace! But I appreciate them enjoying my works, but seriously? Don’t they have anything better to do? What a nonsense plan! What a…
Boy: uh… miss?
Elizabeth: uhh… *gulp* yeah… here’s my card sir…
Girl: ohh, honey, what a sweetheart she is!
Elizabeth: … (clients, clients, clients…)
Boy: thank you!
(to be continued)
